Posts by troubled mind

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.
In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'well dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. I
n his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.

'A Christmas tree?' '

Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration

34

Share something funny

by KW13 in

jw
friends

a joke, a video...a story..whatever .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mp5qs-x8o8.

.

CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESSShe spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things..On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!People stopped coming over to visit.. Repairmen refused to work in the house.. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house.Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ ..And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T You

34

When was the last 7-Day Convention held?

by VM44 in

does anyone know when the watchtower held the last 7-day convention?.

these conventions lasted from 9am to 9pm every day for a whole week, except perhaps for sunday.. they were mostly held in open-air stadiums and people had to endure the burning heat during the day, and the cold at night.. it took endurance to sit throughout the whole thing.. making people attend those things really was an expression of love from the watchtower!

did the watchtower drop right away to the 3-day program, or were 5 day conventions held for awhile?.

troubled mind

1969...... my sister was a toddler and Mom had her on a leash ! We either went to St Louis or Chicago ,it all runs together now . I remember Mom getting fed up by the last few days ,and she would leave the sessions early so us kids could go back to the hotel and swim . My Mom went to these LONG ass conventions my herself with four kids .(Dad was never a JW) Dad would give her heck for weeks before saying he wouldn't let her have the car ,but in the end he would always let her go and made sure she had plenty of money too .

Sometimes we would go south to attend with my Mom's sister and husband . They always worked food service when there was full meals served on long tables . Those conventions were ususally in Little Rock , Arkansas.

It was such a relief when they were shortened down to four days by the time I got married . Then after we had kids from four to three .

13

Happy and nervous for my Daughter in law

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

my daughter in law just called to tell me she just finished signing up for college !!!!

she will start in january .

she was raised as a witness .

troubled mind

thanks GL , I think the same way . She has determination .

13

Happy and nervous for my Daughter in law

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

my daughter in law just called to tell me she just finished signing up for college !!!!

she will start in january .

she was raised as a witness .

troubled mind

She and my son have been inactive for the past three yrs . She and I have had pretty open discussions about the JWs . She never was baptised and she is well aware of the hypocrisy of many with in the religion .

Many in our old hall gave her a hassle when she married my son, because he was baptised and she was not .People actually refused to attend her bridal shower because of this . Then they chose to get married in Las Vegas which also caused many a gossip frenzy ! They moved across the country after the wedding day so they didn't really care what people in our hall thought !

She studied a while in California but still never got baptised . When they moved again they just never got back into meeting attendance . Her best friend and SIL have told her if she doesn't start attending meetings then they won't associate with her anymore (emotional blackmail anyone ?) That kind of threat just made her more determined to be independent . She has made very good friends with workmates and she now sees the difference between them and the JWs .

I am excited for her to go to school , i think she will love the experience . She hopes to take pre-req classes in community college for the first two yrs , and then transfer to University .

13

Happy and nervous for my Daughter in law

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

my daughter in law just called to tell me she just finished signing up for college !!!!

she will start in january .

she was raised as a witness .

troubled mind

Thanks for the encouraging words . She has the chance to take advantage of a VA schlorship because of her Fathers military service .

I just hope they will be able to live on one income for the next few yrs . I guess other people do it ,but I'm a Mom the best thing I do is worry

13

Happy and nervous for my Daughter in law

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

my daughter in law just called to tell me she just finished signing up for college !!!!

she will start in january .

she was raised as a witness .

troubled mind

My daughter in law just called to tell me she just finished signing up for COLLEGE !!!! She will start in January .

She was raised as a witness . Her Father died when she was two (he was not a JW ) Her Mom decided at that time to take all her children out of school and home school them instead ,because the end was so close and she didn't want the world corrupting them . So my DIL being only two never had a chance at a real education . There were four children ,and the oldest had serious learning disablities along with health issues . Her oldest sister ended up taking up most of their mom's attention so none of the others were really schooled at all .

My DIL ended up teaching herself how to read by listening to an ABC tape . When she reached High School age she enrolled in a mail in course . Her dream has been to go to a real school . She will have to quit her full time job in order to devote to school fulltime ....which is scary . Her job had the better health plan . But she can't pass up the chance for school .

I am so proud and happy for her .

47

Secret Santa wish list :)

by tec in

jw
friends

okay, so this is the thread where everyone who has signed up for secret santa can tell the rest of us what you like.

colors, hobbies, trinkets, etc :) keep in mind that the limit is 15.00, or 10 pounds.. have fun,.

tammy.

troubled mind

If you really want ideas for me here are some suggestions : Novelty Christmas lights would be fun ! Old World glass ornaments or Shiny Brite retro ornaments are cool .

Surprise me that is the best .

(P.S. I am a huge nerd rock collector ...if you live in Australia I would love a natural opal rock from there ! Or any other local variety rock that is pretty )